Posts in Category: Humour

The Trek – An Epilogue

(Extremely condenced and summarised)

First Trek, Experience – Not entirely pleasant.

So I’m back from the trek. I’ll let it suffice to say that while it was quite fun in the beginning, it turned quite sour for me on the first day, mainly due to my suffering severe leg cramps which would not allow me to walk at all. I spent about the entire afternoon of Saturday sitting and wincing in pain due to the cramps. The other part was the monotony of walking along the track unable to enjoy the surroundings, the scenery, the view due to the requirement of watching the track and where one puts their next step.

Walking on the stones which are filled between the railway tiers is not good for the legs due to the stones being loose and hence unstable.

Why we should follow Rules

Well, today being the trek, I was returning home earlier than usual from office. Well on the way, just as I took a turn, a signal changed to red. So I had to stop in a hurry and just missed the stop line but I still stopped. Another guy had ideas to the contrary and without bothering about the red light, continued on.

Unfortunately for him, just a little past the signal, a few traffic cops were waiting to conduct surprise checks and hence stopped him. At first he refused to move to the side and wanted to continue on but finally relented. He spoke something with the cops and after a minute, the cops signalled for me to go to them. At first I thought it might be to check us and question us as well since I had crossed the stop line as well.

I’m a nice Guy

Got this off ASR. A really funny read and quite true too ;).

So how true would this be? I think it’s quite accurate and true. It’s a rant yeah but does make sense.

So now, I claim to be a nice guy. Any girls out there willing to prove me wrong ;) :P

Ode to the Nice Guys ;)

Brokeback Mountain

Hilarious observation by Chandrahasa. (This for straight people only :P)

Q. What is worse than a guy calling you after watching Brokeback Mountain saying he liked it?

A. Him saying he remembered you while watching the movie and hence called you!

:D

I’m Missing ;)

Okay.. This really cracked me up when I heard it.

I had to work today (My first saturday in office :-( ). But before that I also had to purchase tickets for a trip for some relatives. And it so happened I got late. So I left in a rush and forgot to carry my cell phones. (Yes phones, I have 2 of ’em :-D)

Apparantely, my dad had asked me to give him a call around noon to give the status of the tickets. This part, I missed. Now when noon passed, my dad started calling me but since no one answered, he kept on trying. After about a few (20 I’m told) calls, he became frantic. So he called the travel agency where I was supposed to purchase the tickets and asked if those tickets had been made. For some reason, the person there told him that no such tickets were made. Then my dad called my office. Buuut, incidently, at that time, I had gone for lunch. And the security personnel who answered, who did not know my name, told him I never came to office.

The Best Blond Joke Ever

This is the best blond joke ever :-D

Ps. No offence to Blonds :-)

Continuation on the Airlines Post

Another mail which gave a bit of a laugh! Again, I cannot verify it’s authenticity!

EXCHANGES BETWEEN PILOTS AND CONTROL TOWERS

Here are some conversations that airline passengers normally will never hear. The following are accounts of actual exchanges between airline pilots and control towers around the world.

Rules for piloting an airplane

Received this a mail forward. Some of them are a nice laugh ;-) There is a lot pilots have to take into account when hauling your behind across the sky…

  1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
  2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.
  3. Flying isn’t dangerous. Crashing is what’s dangerous.
  4. It’s always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.
  5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.
  6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.
  7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.
  8. A ‘good’ landing is one from which you can walk away. A ‘great’ landing is one after which they can use the plane again.
  9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won’t live long enough to make all of them yourself.
  10. You know you’ve landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.
  11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice-versa.
  12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn’t get to five minutes earlier.
  13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.
  14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you’ve made.
  15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.
  16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
  17. Helicopters can’t fly; they’re just so ugly the earth repels them.
  18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that’s going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.
  19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.
  20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, experience usually comes from bad judgment.
  21. It’s always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.
  22. Keep looking around. There’s always something you’ve missed.
  23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It’s the law. And it’s not subject to repeal.
  24. The four most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, gas back at the airport, and a tenth of a second ago.
  25. There are old pilots and there are bold pilots. There are, however, no old, bold pilots.

No 25 is my favorite along with no. 23. What’s yours? :-D