I received this in a mail sometime ago and I found it very funny that I left it there. Today, while cleaning up my inbox, I came across this and thought of sharing it ;)
This might or might not be true but it is a funny story nonetheless :)
The story starts (I’m shortcutting here) with an [Please control your
cussing] insulting everyone on the IRC channel. Most people there
believed it was rather funny, but it got even more funny. For
information: The dangerous hacker is called bitchchecker and the one
being hacked and original author of the comments, who is talking here,
is known as Elch. 127.0.0.1 is always the IP-adress of the computer
you’re currently using, any request there will return to your
* bitchchecker (~email@example.com) Quit (Ping timeout#)
* bitchchecker (~firstname.lastname@example.org) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> why do you kick me
<bitchchecker> can’t you discus normally
<Elch> we didn’t kick you
<Elch> you had a ping timeout: * bitchchecker
(~email@example.com) Quit (Ping timeout#)
<bitchchecker> what ping man
<bitchchecker> the timing of my pc is right
<bitchchecker> i even have dst
<bitchchecker> you banned me
<bitchchecker> amit it you son of a bitch
<HopperHunter|afk> shit you’re stupid, DST^^
<bitchchecker> shut your mouth WE HAVE DST!
<bitchchecker> for two weaks already
<bitchchecker> when you start your pc there is a message from windows
that DST is applied.
<Elch> You’re a real computer expert
<bitchchecker> shut up i hack you
<Elch> ok, i’m quiet, hope you don’t show us how good a hacker you are ^^
<bitchchecker> tell me your network number man then you’re dead
<Elch> Eh, it’s 22.214.171.124
<Elch> or maybe 127.0.0.1
<Elch> yes exactly that’s it: 127.0.0.1 I’m waiting for you great attack
<bitchchecker> in five minutes your hard drive is deleted
<Elch> Now I’m frightened
<bitchchecker> shut up you’ll be gone
<bitchchecker> i have a program where i enter your ip and you’re dead
<bitchchecker> say goodbye
<Elch> to whom?
<bitchchecker> to you man
<bitchchecker> buy buy
<Elch> I’m shivering thinking about such great Hack0rs like you
* bitchchecker (~firstname.lastname@example.org) Quit (Ping timeout#)
What happened is clear: That guy entered his own IP-Adress in his
mighty Hack-Tool and crashed his own PC. This way, the attack on my PC
was a failure. I was already starting to think that I did not have to
worry, but a good hacker never calls it a day. Two minutes later he
* bitchchecker (~email@example.com) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> dude be happy my pc crashed otherwise you’d be gone
<Elch> bitchchecker: Then try hacking me again… I still have the
same IP: 127.0.0.1
<bitchchecker> you’re so stupid man
<bitchchecker> say buy buy
<Metanot> ah, [Please control your cussing] off
<bitchchecker> buy buy elch
* bitchchecker (~firstname.lastname@example.org) Quit (Ping timeout#)
There was a tension in the room… Would he manage, after these two
failures, to crash my PC? I waited. Nothing happened. I felt
relieve… Six minutes passed by until he prepared the next wave of
attack. Being a Hacker, who usually cracks whole data centers, he knew
what his problem was now.
* bitchchecker (~email@example.com) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> elch you son of a bitch
<Metanot> bitchchecker how old are you?
<Elch> What’s up bitchchecker?
<bitchchecker> you have a frie wal
<bitchchecker> fire wall
<Elch> maybe, i don’t know
<bitchchecker> i’m 26
<Metanot> such behaviour with 26?
<Elch> how did you find out that I have a firewall?
<Metanot> tststs this is not very nice missy
<bitchchecker> because your gay fire wall directed my turn off signal back to me
<bitchchecker> be a man turn that shit off
<Elch> cool, didn’t know this was possible.
<bitchchecker> thn my virus destroys your pc man
<Metanot> are you hacking yourselves?
<Elch> yes bitchchecker is trying to hack me
<Metanot> he bitchchecker if you’re a hacker you have to get around a
firewall even i can do that
<bitchchecker> yes man i hack the elch but the sucker has a fire wall the
<Metanot> what firewall do you have?
<bitchchecker> like a girl
<Metanot> firewall is normal a normal hacker has to be able to get
past it…you girl^^
<He> Bitch give yourself a jackson and chill you’re letting them
provoce you and give those little girls new material all the time
<bitchchecker> turn the firewall off then i send you a virus [Please
control your cussing]er
<Metanot> he bitchchecker why turn it off, you should turn it off
<bitchchecker> you’re afraid
<bitchchecker> i don’t wanna hack like this if he hides like a girl
behind a fire wall
<bitchchecker> elch turn off your shit wall!
<Metanot> i wanted to say something about this, do you know the
definition of hacking??? if he turns of the firewall that’s an
invitation and that has nothing to do with hacking
<bitchchecker> shut up
<bitchchecker> my grandma surfs with fire wall
<bitchchecker> and you suckers think you’re cool and don’t dare going
into the internet without a fire wall
He calls me girly and says only his grandma would use a firewall. I
know that elder people are much more intelligent then younger, but I
couldn’t let that rest. To see whether he really is a good hacker I
lie and let everything as it is. I don’t have a firewall at all, only
<Elch> bitchchecker, a collegue showed me how to turn the firewall
off. Now you can try again
<Metanot> bitchhacker can’t hack
<Black<TdV>> nice play on words ^^
<bitchchecker> wort man
<Elch> bitchchecker: I’m still waiting for your attack!
<Metanot> how many times again he is no hacker
<bitchchecker> man do you want a virus
<bitchchecker> tell me your ip and it deletes your hard drive
<Metanot> lol ne give it up i’m a hacker myself and i know how hackers
behave and i can tell you 100.00% you’re no hacker..^^
<Elch> it’s easy
<bitchchecker> lolololol you so stupid man you’ll be gone
<bitchchecker> and are the first files being deleted
<Elch> i’ll take a look
In panic I started the Windows Explorer, my heart beating faster. Had
I under-estimated him?
<bitchchecker> don’t need to rescue you can’t son of a bitch
<Elch> that’s bad
<bitchchecker> elch you idiout your hard drive g: is deleted
<Elch> yes, there’s nothing i can do about it
<bitchchecker> and in 20 seconds f: is gone
Yes, true, G: and F: were gone. Did I ever have them? Doesn’t matter,
I did not have time to think, I was scared. bitchchecker was
comforting me with a music tip.
<bitchchecker> tupac rules
<bitchchecker> elch you son of a bitch your f: is gone and e: too
Drive E:? Oh my god… All the games are there! And the vacation
pictures! I instantly take a look. Everything still there. But the
hacker said it was deleted….
Or isn’t it happening on my computer?
<bitchchecker> and d: is at 45% you idiot lolololol
<He> why doesn’t meta say anything
<Elch> he’s probably rolling on the floor laughing
<bitchchecker> your d: is gone
<He> go on BITCH
The guy is good: My CD-drive is allegedly deleted! Bitchchecker turned
my ancient disk sucker into a burner! But how did he do this? I’ll
have to ask him. Some encourage him. He himself is giving advice how
to avoid the disaster on my hard drives.
<bitchchecker> elch man you’re so stupid never give your ip on the internet
<bitchchecker> i’m already at c: 30 percent
Should I tell him he’s not attacking my computer?
* bitchchecker (~firstname.lastname@example.org) Quit (Ping timeout#)
Too late… It’s 20:22 when we get the last message of our hacker with
the alias “bitchchecker”. We see that he has a “Ping timeout”. We
haven’t seen him since then… must be the Daylight Saving Time.