My blog feels neglected. And not without reason. I’ve barely posted recently. Though there has been a lot to write.
A combination of work, mental imbalance and guilt of not working on my applications has kept me away from typing out anything. Also, I want to make a lot more private posts to put my thoughts into words, but only for myself.
The blog itself is also neglected since the theme is fairly old and I’ve not changed it for a while. No idea if any of my plugins have been updated nor have I upgraded wordpress itself (though this is partly because I am thinking of moving over to Habari. If only Habari were a little more stable. But I digress)
But the guilt of my apps does not let me. Once the apps are done….
I always believe being frank to be advantageous. And with friends, I had always tried to be frank, even if it meant that sometimes I said something harsh, hoping that by saying the truth, I would prevent possible occurance of misunderstanding later.
But due to various reason, people going far(not in terms of physical distance), change in perceptions about people and a general disinterest, I had of late stopped speaking out to friends, not saying what I felt like saying or should say but instead kept it bottled up within myself. Heck have it bottled up even now!
But today, a conversation which started with some irrelevant topic got to the point where I spoke frankly to a friend, spoke about something that had recently bothered me and even pissed me off to an extent. And when I said it out, the reason due to which I had been pissed turned out to be so inconsequential because it actually stemmed from a reaction to something I had myself said, something which I now find extremely distasteful and idiotic. Nevertheless, once I realised the root cause, I realised it was my fault and that immediately turned my irritation to guilt and shame!
But it did do one thing. It cleared up the situation, erased any possible resentment and simmering billigerence and thus prevented any possible ugliness in the future.
And I am extremely glad :)
Yes, I will not reveal any info, but you know it ;)